4 years...

I woke up this morning with a feeling of dread and it took me a minute to remember why...it's September 15th...the day daddy died...I knew it was coming, I told my boss I would not be at work today, i told Bobbies school she would not be there today, while I know I can't just hide out every year on Sept. 15th Its hard to function with people when you are just so darn sad. I do try to go to the beach every year, since he was cremated and scattered at sea its as close as I can get to visiting his grave site...I think next year I will send Bobbie to school, its not healthy for her to see me this sad. I miss him everyday but the toughest day of the year is today, on his birthday I can celebrate his life, on Fathers day I can celebrate what a wonderful daddy he was, not to mention celebrating Robert with the girls ( cause lets face it he learned a lot from my daddy) and he is a pretty terrific daddy himself!...but today is hard, there was nothing wonderful that happened today to celebrate, its a big day but not in a good way...All I can think about was how I found out, and how I felt and the next few days that followed and...well I think I need to be done, the crying has started again and I was trying to be done for the day so I will close with I miss you daddy RIP